Happy With a Side of Unsettled

Photo 327 out of 365 – “Sunset Over Lower Manhattan”

"Sunset Over Lower Manhattan" - Settings: ISO 100, f/5, 1/320 sec, 50mm lens

Yesterday I didn’t leave the house.  I cleaned, I did laundry, I edited photos, I blogged about politics (that one took me a while – serious stuff), I prepped for dinner and then all of a sudden I looked out the window and the sky looked like that.  So I grabbed my camera, threw on my jacket and ran up to the roof, passing the high school boys from my building huddled in the stairwell smoking a joint on my way.  I got to the roof, set up my shot, took three pictures and POOF… the sun was gone.  This was the first photo I took.  Talk about timing.

Anyway, I had a really great lunch with a friend today and we were discussing my career/life situation.  On a day-to-day basis I’ve been super happy, exploring my passions, learning new skills, taking care of my hubs and our life together and meeting many new awesome people.  But stepping back, I still have this underlying sense of restlessness.  I’m unsettled… I still feel like I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing!  I had come to the conclusion that it was because I was not earning any money… and if I earned money, then I’d feel more accomplished and that feeling would go away.  But I don’t really think it’s about the money.  So is it the respect?  Do I need a big official pat on the back?  I used to get “A”s in school and promotions at work – do I need a report card to make me feel ok about what I’m doing?  All of this and more was discussed – but I’d like to let it stew in my head a bit before I write more.

Stay tuned and thanks for reading.



7 thoughts on “Happy With a Side of Unsettled

  1. LOVE, love, LOVE this photo! You are so talented! I also love reading about your continuing journey. I hope you would be up to meeting for lunch when I am in town next month. It would be so fun to meet you in real life. 🙂

    • Thanks so much Carli! Email me and let me know when you’ll be in town! We’re going on a trip in early april, but then I’ll be around and would love to meet you for lunch!

  2. Fabulous photo and yes, great timing!!
    Dear Nell, most people live their lives without questioning themselves, and they seem to be happy and probably they are!!. But a bunch of us are always exploring new things, always thinking of something in a different way, or exploring new fields, evolving, changing, adapting. Happy, yes, but there is always something else waiting for us round the corner. I´ve lived half (or more) than my life and I´m still questioning, still looking. SO yes, happy with a side of unsettlement is familiar, but it´s good, it keeps you going!!

  3. Nell, for living with passion and exploring yourself to find your bliss you get an A ! these are steps towards your calling and you’re on the right path!!!! Keep it up!

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