It’s creeping in… I can feel it. I took a few days off blogging over the weekend – as I felt rather blocked – and a little moody. I think it’s the completion of my 365 project. For an entire year, I had a daily goal – something I was continuously working towards and now it’s done. It is a relief and a burden at the same time. I’ve been deciding on a daily basis now – whether or not to bring my camera with me when I go out. Sometimes I make the choice to be unencumbered and I leave it at home, giving me the opportunity to actually sport a cute purse for a change (instead of my big ass camera bag). I feel light and free for a few minutes and then this pit develops in my stomach (guilt? regret?) and continues to gnaw at me as I see one amazing photo op after another that I am missing out on and will never be able to capture again. Other days, I decide to bring my camera with me, and I see nothing – and it rains, and I’m worried about it getting wet, and my shoulder hurts and I’m annoyed that I’m stuck lugging it around all day. Wah wah … and so it goes.
Now that this project is over, I’m feeling a craving for some sort of external experience… something that’s not at all about me. Like my time spent at the nursing home (which I still do every week and love) – but something else. Something where I can get outside of myself a bit and get a little perspective. I’ve been putting so much OUT this last year… blogging, posting my photos, etc. I’m a little sick of me! I feel like I need to spend some time absorbing now – to re-fill the tank a bit. You know? I kind of want to hole myself up in my apartment for a week and read like twenty books in a row and not talk to anyone. Is that weird? Or else it might be time to go on a trip somewhere I’ve never been – somewhere quiet and beautiful to get re-inspired. New York is feeling rather draining to me at the moment. Anyway, little miss moody today – huh? I’m sure I’ll snap out of it. It is a foggy gray Monday and all.
Here’s a cool picture I took of Adam waiting for the subway yesterday… love the bokeh!
and a gnarly old tree in Tompkins Square Park:
I fully support you holing up, but when you do – we’re going out to dinner. A celebration of your HUGE achievement is in order as well as a toast to whatever amazing next step of your journey is to come!!! I’m proud of you my love.
Oh, I so know the feeling! The malaise that sets in after a very productive period. And yes, refuel. Read, eat, laugh. And celebrate what you just did and what is to come. Cause it will be a lot! 🙂
yes! re-fueling!! I think my goal right now is to forget about my own stuff for a little bit and focus on helping Adam with this Hello Lonesome release in theaters in one month!!! Wish you were here!
You could start a photo research? chose a topic you wanted to explore, explore it and then portray it? Just talking aloud …