So, Theo is now six and a half months old and man… he is just starting to RULE!  The past few days have been our best yet!  Not only is he sleeping better (I shouldn’t say that out loud… I don’t want to jinx it), but he has just been consistently happy, and chill, and giggly and awesome!  He’s been babbling up a storm and blowing raspberries and he’s even started jumping like a little mad man in his jumparoo! He gets all excited and squealy.  It’s adorable.  I also think he’s starting to really develop a sense of humor.  We have this book called Blue Hat Green Hat by Sandra Boynton.  Every page ends with the word “oops!” – and he giggles!  Now every time we say “oops”, he starts cracking up!  Amazing.

In terms of the sleeping, we made an attempt to get him to go to sleep on his own (without me nursing him unconscious) last week and he ended up crying fairly hard for about twenty minutes (with each of us going in to check on him and pat him on the back a couple times).  He eventually went to sleep but it made me feel TERRIBLE.  I cried.  I felt nauseous.  It didn’t feel right.  We decided then that we just couldn’t do it.  We are not yet at the point where that feels like the only option (hopefully we’ll never have to get there).  But I must say… ever since that day, his sleeping has totally improved.  The past few nights, he’s been going to bed like a champ.  I extended our bedtime routine to include a little massage, a couple books, a teeth brush (or gum brush I should say… he has no teeth yet but I figured we’d build it into the routine now) and a couple lullabies.  I’ve been putting him in his crib awake and he’s been going to sleep with no drama whatsoever!  And last night – he slept for twelve hours total with only one wake-up!   You know what I think?  I think he’s a smart little boy.  He knew we were starting to consider sleep training so he whipped himself into shape.  Good thinking buddy.

Meanwhile, we went out to dinner the other night with some dear friends of ours who don’t have any children yet.  B asked me, “so what do you think so far?  Is it what you expected?”  And to answer that question… here’s where I’m currently at.  The beginning was not fun for me.  It was exhausting, frustrating, confusing and disappointing.  But since we hit about four months, the clouds have parted and the joy is seeping in.  Every day I feel more bonded with Theo.  I feel like I understand him now.  I feel like I know what he needs and why he’s acting a certain way.  I feel his love for me and for his daddy.  His face lights up when he sees us.  He thinks we’re really funny and totally enthralling.  I’m consistently having more and more fun with him!  I’m being silly.  I’m dancing around the room and singing terribly and he thinks I rock.  What’s better than that?  We’re introducing him to food and he tries everything we give him and loves EVERYTHING!  (except for avocado).    We have a weekly ritual of going to the farmer’s market and picking out new things to try.  I give him samples of different apple and pear and squash varieties.  I like to think we’re shaping his relationship with food and that with our help, he’ll grow up to be a total foodie!  He’s getting more snuggly.  He sits on my lap and cuddles with me while I read him books.  My love for him is getting super strong.  It’s entering a whole new level.  Same with my love for Adam.  We are a family now.  I feel connected in a much deeper way.

Of course there is still real sacrifice.  Our lives are not our own anymore.  We cannot sleep in.  We cannot be spontaneous.  I do feel like my brain is mush from lack of sleep.  I have trouble carrying on an intelligent conversation and have a dense fog that is sort of settled  in my head at all times.   My thoughts primarily revolve around naps and poop.  I constantly forget what I’m saying.  Time has also become so much more precious and scarce.  Every time I get a moment to myself I feel like I should be doing a hundred different things.  It is hard to relax.  If I’m relaxing, I feel like I should be sleeping or blogging.  If I’m blogging, I feel like I should be cleaning.  If I’m cleaning, I feel like I should be uploading pictures or grocery shopping or ordering diapers or making food for Theo’s next meal or catching up on the phone with someone.

But you know what?  It’s really ok.  I don’t really care that much.  The rewards of having Theo are now totally overshadowing the sacrifices. And god… I mean he can’t even talk yet!  Imagine the first time he says “I love you mommy”.  I melt just thinking about it.

Meanwhile, here are some pictures from the last couple weeks:

A couple non-Theo:

“Pink Rose Purple Banister”

Sunlight Streaming

Now Theo:

Already a heartbreaker

Excited by the world

Happy with daddy

I can sit by myself! (Photo by Adam)

Illustrated Theo upside down (Photo by Adam)

Just waking up

Theo and me – magic hour in the park

Have a great week everyone!  Hope you’re enjoying the fall!  Thanks for stopping by. 🙂